Humor

Professor Quotes

~ randyaa ~ Leave a comment

I kept track of funny things my professors would say all throughout college but never shared. Unfortunately the various locations at which I kept them have been lost to time. The most recent list I could find was from 9/5/2002 from an archive of an old website I used to maintain (http://randy.instantws.com). The wayback machine has some very interesting stuff if you’re interested…

DISCLAIMER: Nothing has been added or made up. Names have not been changed. Screw the innocent.

Don’t Be A Twit (to Alonso)
~Beltz

When we make our groups, I want to try mix the dumb people with the smart people.
~Dr. Vegso

I guess size does matter…<looks down>…in more ways than one.
~Szewczak

i dont know how you can have a fraudulant noble trade
~Lutz

you don’t have to tell me the president of the company is higher than the bathroom attendant of the company. I know that.
~d.s. hart

now lets say we have a force tugging on a spring. ok that force is you. Well just say the whole force is F you.
~Anderson

Professor Lutz… what diet program are you on?
~Vallino

Practice safe Construction
~Lutz

Don’t pervert when you convert
~Czernikowski

Czernikowski: what’s your name sir?
Student: John
Czernikowski: Siker??????
Student: John!

I call it my tickle file…
~Rechylmier

You can’t go from 0-60 in 3 days
~Poularious

Dr Heliotis has provided a peta file for you to use…
what?… ok, this peta file… oh geez…
~Adams

I have 2P in two places.
~Poularious

Let me just give you a quickie here…
~Reek

Friends let each other touch their private parts
~Adams

Its a little early for beer…Down it quickly!
~Poularious

Don’t goto Dicks.com. Its not the clothing store!
~Reek

I am not paranoid its just that all these people are against me!
~Poularious

Let me go psychedelic here
~Poularious

Does anyone have Redi-Whip in a can? For those romantic moments?
~Richmond

I remember my college days, fondling…
~Richmond

you can go to other countries where the penetration is less
~Adams

I FULLY expect problems
~Kern

I Don’t know how to teach this class
~Etlinger

You only get a few words, like… you know… whatever they said in telegrams.
~Gregorio

Mike Merryfield the Comedian

~ randyaa ~ 1 Comment

Stop it or I’ll give you a knockin’ ullllllright?

We saw Mike Merryfield at Comix Cafe last weekend and he was one of the funniest comedians we’ve seen at Comix. His style of humor reminded me a lot of Brian Regan my favorite comedian of all time. I found one of his recorded shows on his website and I’ve included it below for your listening pleasure.

[audio:https://aldrichfamily.org/2007/12/mikemerryfield.mp3%5DHe’s also available on youtube as MikeMerryField and I’ve included his best video below.

Ratatouille

~ randyaa ~ Leave a comment

We’d been trying to rent ratatouille from redbox for a few days but it was out literally everywhere in Rochester. Finally I found one available at the Perinton wegmans on Wednesday so I rented it online. Yep Redbox now allows you to rent movies online. Well, not streaming or anything unfortunately, but you can reserve it at a Redbox location online.

Ratatouille was a great movie. There was more humor in it than usually is found in the new animated movies. I found myself thoroughly enjoying it. The trailer is below.

[metacafe]http://www.metacafe.com/watch/663432/ratatouille_trailer_tv_spot/[/metacafe]

Brian Regan – The Me Monster

~ randyaa ~ Leave a comment

Friday Rachel and I went with a bunch of our friends to a comedy show from one of my favorite comics of all time. This is the 3rd time I’ve seen him live and every time he has great new material. One of my favorite new bits was The Me Monster (I walked on the moon). Watch it below.

Circles

~ randyaa ~ 2 Comments

I often hear humorous stories at work (and even participate in certain circumstances) and always intend on sharing them with people. It never turns out that way though, I either forget or lack the motivation to use my extremely limited artistic ability to create the appropriate representation. Today I ran across Strip Generator which allows you to create a comic very easily. They have many baked in characters, objects, shapes and so on which allows you to throw together a comic in literally seconds. I took the opportunity to share this little story I heard from a coworker…

Circles