I kept track of funny things my professors would say all throughout college but never shared. Unfortunately the various locations at which I kept them have been lost to time. The most recent list I could find was from 9/5/2002 from an archive of an old website I used to maintain (http://randy.instantws.com). The wayback machine has some very interesting stuff if you’re interested…
DISCLAIMER: Nothing has been added or made up. Names have not been changed. Screw the innocent.
Don’t Be A Twit (to Alonso)
When we make our groups, I want to try mix the dumb people with the smart people.
I guess size does matter…<looks down>…in more ways than one.
i dont know how you can have a fraudulant noble trade
you don’t have to tell me the president of the company is higher than the bathroom attendant of the company. I know that.
now lets say we have a force tugging on a spring. ok that force is you. Well just say the whole force is F you.
Professor Lutz… what diet program are you on?
Practice safe Construction
Don’t pervert when you convert
Czernikowski: what’s your name sir?
I call it my tickle file…
You can’t go from 0-60 in 3 days
Dr Heliotis has provided a peta file for you to use…
what?… ok, this peta file… oh geez…
I have 2P in two places.
Let me just give you a quickie here…
Friends let each other touch their private parts
Its a little early for beer…Down it quickly!
Don’t goto Dicks.com. Its not the clothing store!
I am not paranoid its just that all these people are against me!
Let me go psychedelic here
Does anyone have Redi-Whip in a can? For those romantic moments?
I remember my college days, fondling…
you can go to other countries where the penetration is less
I FULLY expect problems
I Don’t know how to teach this class
You only get a few words, like… you know… whatever they said in telegrams.